I have been wanting to start a blog for some time now, but I never knew where to begin. It has always been hard for me to stay on one particular subject and theme, therefore I never went through with the idea. However, within the last few months, I have dwelled on Psalm 46:10, and it has inspired me to write my thoughts here.
I grew up in a divorced home, and struggled to find consistency in my life. All I had ever known was switching between my mother’s house and my father’s house. I grew up with an “On-the-go” type mentality my entire life. My brother and I grew up eating on-the-go snacks, we seemed to always have our bags packed, and we tended to be ready at any moment to get up and go. From the time I was in fourth grade until now, I have fought with anxiety. I was on medication when I was younger, but I decided I wanted to learn to cope without it a few years later. There were times when my anxiety was minimal, and other times it seemed overwhelming. When I first read Psalm 46:10a, “Be still and know that I am God,” my first reaction was a little bit of frustration. Be still. How can I, a person who cannot turn her brain off, a person who constantly overthinks just about everything, simply “Be still.” So I kept on fretting about every little thing. Sounds exhausting, right?
Throughout high school, the battles I found myself fighting seemed to grow on a much larger scale. At times, I felt as if I should just surrender and let my fears overtake me. I have always been a people-person, and I hold dear to those who have been along the path of life with me. However, when I reached my junior year of high school until just recently, this pattern of life was slightly altered. I took my extroverted self and crammed her into an introverted body. I shut many people out during this period of time because I was convinced it would be easier to fight these battles on my own. Despite my ideas, this did not benefit me, but rather set me back. The only beneficial aspect of this time was that I realized how incredibly important it is to have a strong relationship with Christ.
Whenever I would face difficulties in my life, I learned to lean on Christ. C.S. Lewis once stated, “If God is all I have, I have all I need.” Through the trials in my life, I was taught to raise my white flag, meaning I surrendered to following the command found in Psalm 46:10, and I learned to be still. It was in this time I realized God is not telling me to stop working for His sake. He was not commanding me to sit and watch the world go faster. My Lord was commanding me to allow my heart to be still and to find peace at His feet while He worked every little aspect in my life for His glory. Philippians 4:6-7 states, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Finally, I realized where I could find my peace in this rambunctious world. Is it easy to sit still when you have anxiety? Absolutely not. Dying to self is never easy, especially when you are the one fretting your own mind. However, I have learned, the more I pray, the more at rest and full of Christ I feel and become. Here are the steps I have sought to implement in my life. First, still your heart and mind. Second, pray whenever I begin to worry. Third, leave it at the feet of Jesus, do not pick it up again. Finally, die to self and focus on the will of Christ. The plan sounds easy, but do not be fooled. It took a lot of effort, and I’m still trying to master the art of controlling my anxiety and fears. I will tell you this, it has become the most satisfying and peaceful action plan I have ever committed myself to following.
Perspective:
Above, I attached a photo of the Victoria Falls that I took when I was in Zambia, Africa. I have always been astounded at the beauty of creation. My Jesus who made this waterfall and the universe takes the time to not only hear my prayers, but answer them as well. What an omnipotent (all-powerful) Savior He is. All He asks me to do in the middle of my anxieties is to, “Be still and know that He is God.” He is taking care of everything else. Precious reader, I urge you to be still. Give your anxiety, cares, and struggles to Him, He greatly cares for you too!